Short Term Disability For Depression And Anxiety-My theme for this challenge is depression and anxiety and everything it brings with it.
Many times I feel so burdened. If my depression is in the worst case, a simple task will be very large. Go to work, grocery shop, dinner and while trying to get the look. This can be very tiring. At this point, I just want to give up and curled up in a ball on my bed comfortably.
In an episode of depression recently I tried to eat something in the morning and my eggs rolled from the top of the table and smashed on the floor. That brings me back to my bed crying without eating. It’s too much, too much. It was the depression and could be brutal.
I lost my troubleshooting skills, which I experienced for a long time, almost 10 months ago, when I had to leave the work and short-term disabilities. I have not been able to come back with them and sometimes when I have too many or too many promises, I have been anxious and to feel burdened about the simplest tasks. Brushing your teeth so it doesn’t feel like homework.
I used to judge people all the time, especially unconsciously at first. I can think back in time, for all cases in which I have passed the verdict wrong or inappropriate to someone else. I feel guilty because the judge is quick and easy, but I believe it is the nature of humanity. This is probably not one of the prettier sides of human nature, but no less.
Dealing with depression and anxiety, I have learned over the years that the only people I want are my own. This is not healthy, but at least I have more compassion for others this way. I was my own bad critic so sometimes I can be brutal. I am constantly concerned about things like whether friends and neighbors I know that I am not working with the short-term disability. If you knew I was suffering from a disease of the soul (or two)? What will you think of me as a person if you know? You respect and like me, is it going to change?
I am very concerned about the assessment I will face that I keep my anxiety and depression from this world. I thought if I could judge someone unfairly, why someone not judging me? This is a fair question and I think I’m not myself, I only understand the nature of man and sometimes can be ugly. Mental illness is an issue that has been set up to judge whether it is right or wrong. In fact, it is very common that we suffer from a disease of the soul that lurks in the dark, often solely for fear of banishing friends.
I need to work on my self-assessment, which is one of the reasons why I started this blog. Slowly uncovered more and more about who I am through my writing, I hope to improve my confidence and stop negative self-assessment.